"On one side you have a part of your mind that got you into this situation, the part that says you need to be forced into intimacy. Your mammal brain says the same thing, as does your body. But part of your human mind says that you need to be pure. Part says that you need to remain in control. We humans spend our lives wrecking our lives." Hank kissed Amanda and rubbed her butt. "You have no right to do anything but obey me and your mammal brain. Amanda is a good girl. Now breathe as you've been taught. In, hold it, out, hold it..."Hank turned on the shower."Another bath?" Yes, Amanda. We are very clean here. Bathing is part of foreplay. I'm washing you and you're washing me." Hank wetted down Amanda's body. "Are you allergic to strawberries? No? Food allergies sometimes aren't treated. Okay, I'm going to make you smell like strawberries. Hold your hair out of the way. I'm going to smell like strawberries too. There are other flavors. I want you to smell of strawberries for me."Three. "Are you surprised to see me here? Probably not as surprised as I was when you left me."Even as the words left my mouth, I knew I was lying. I had known it was coming. Hindsight 20/20 and all that, the signs had been there. She had been distancing herself, withdrawing from me. I had been so busy with work in those months, setting up my new firm, burning the candle. Still, I should have noticed that she wasn't acting her old self."I don't want to hear your excuses. It just happened. Bullshit. Maybe, if you had come to me, we could have prevented it."Who knows if that was true or not? Would I have listened to her? Really listened to her concerns and taken them seriously? I was so busy then, and frankly have never been a great listener. If she had come to me right away, would I have gotten us in to see a professional? Given the way I am, or was, almost certainly not. I would have given her lip-service reassurance, I suppose. Tried to explain away her concerns: we're going through a.
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